The 2014 Razzies- Honoring Movies So Bad They’re Still Bad

Ah, Award season.  When great movies are recognized by the Academy, Screen Actors Guild, New York Film Critics, and even the Golden Globes (even though the Globes are kinda equivalent to your stoner cousin in Tuscon…)  Then… there are the Razzies….

The Razzies, which recognize the worst in cinema, released their Short List this week.  Which films are….um…. WORTHY be….um…..honored?  Courtesy of the folks at Collider, here is the full list with our commentary.

WORST PICTURE

Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas
Transcendence
A Million Ways to Die in the West
Atlas Shrugged: Part III
The Legend of Hercules
Sex Tape
A Haunted House 2
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Left Behind
The Interview
Transformers: Age of Extinction
I, Frankenstein

WATSON COMMENT:  Give the edge to Transformers.  It was a stinker and will create the most buzz for the media whores at the Razzies.  Transcendence was pretty bad as well.  I actually enjoyed Million Ways a little…

It couldn’t have been worse if it had said “Me, Grimlock!”

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF or SEQUEL

Noah
The Legend of Hercules
Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return
A Haunted House 2
The Expendables 3
Atlas Shrugged: Part III
Annie (RAZZable Remake of a 1981 Worst Picture Nominee)
Exodus: Gods and Kings
Endless Love (Yet Another RAZZable Remake of a 1981 Worst Picture Nominee)
Pompeii
Transformers: Age of Extinction
I, Frankenstein
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

WATSON COMMENT: Transformers looks to be a sweep since it was the biggest box office hit globally.  Annie makes a funny story since the Razzies razzed the first adaptation.

WORST SCREENPLAY

Transformers: Age of Extinction
A Haunted House 2
Pompeii
The Legend of Hercules
Sex Tape
Endless Love
Left Behind
The Expendables 3
Winter’s Tale
Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas
Atlas Shrugged: Part III
A Million Ways to Die in the West
Noah
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Transcendence
I, Frankenstein

WATSON COMMENT:Since Transformers didn’t use a screenplay, give the nod here to Transcendence.

“I’m honestly destroying my career on purpose to win a bet with Helena Bonham Carter…”

WORST SCREEN COMBO

Any Two Robots, Actors (or Robotic Actors) Transformers: Age of Extinction
James Franco & EITHER Seth Rogen or Randall Park (Kim Jong Un) / The Interview
Kellan Lutz and EITHER His Abs, His Pecs or His Glutes / LEGEND of HERCULES
The Entire Cast of The Expendables 3
The Entire Cast of Atlas Shrugged: Part III
Seth MacFarlane and Charlize Theron / A Million Ways to Die in the West
The “Rock Monsters” / Noah
Johnny Depp and His “Virtual Doppelganger” / Transcendence
Alex Pettyfer and Gabriella Wilde / Endless Love
Kirk Cameron and His Ego / Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas
Cameron Diaz & Jason Segel / Sex Tape

WATSON COMMENT: You can’t get worse than Kirk Cameron x 2!

WORST DIRECTOR

James Manera / Atlas Shrugged: Part III
Jake Kasdan / Sex Tape
Darren Aronofsky / Noah
Seth MacFarlane / A Million Ways to Die in the West
Jonathan Liebesman / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Renny Harlin / The Legend of Hercules
Michael Tiddes / A Haunted House 2
Michael Bay / Transformers: Age of Extinction
Wally Pfister / Transcendence
Darren Doane / Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas
Vic Armstrong / Left Behind

WATSON COMMENT: Michael Bay is to the Razzies what Michael Jordan was to the NBA MVP. Even if he doesn’t win he’s in the mix.  

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Shaquille O’Neal / Blended
Johnathon Schaech / The Legend of Hercules
Kelsey Grammer / The Expendables 3 and Transformers: Age of Extinction
Arnold Schwarzenegger / The Expendables 3
Morgan Freeman / Transcendence
Jack Black / Sex Tape
Liam Neeson / A Million Ways to Die in the West
Russell Crowe / Winter’s Tale
Mel Gibson / The Expendables 3
Kiefer Sutherland / Pompeii
T.J. Miller / Transformers: Age of Extinction

WATSON COMMENT: In a case of “he was robbed!, I cannot believe Nick Cage’s hair plugs were not nominated in Left Behind!  A travesty!  In a pinch, let’s give it to Kelsey Grammer.  He’s the kind of guy that would probably be pissed about winning a Razzie, so his anguish sustains me….

Apparently when Cage asked the director “What’s my motivation?” the director accidentally said “gassy!”

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Sophia Myles / Transformers: Age of Extinction
Jaime Pressly / A Haunted House 2
Susan Sarandon / Tammy
Bridgette Cameron / Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas
Carrie-Anne Moss / Pompeii
Amanda Seyfried / A Million Ways to Die in the West
Cameron Diaz / Annie
Megan Fox / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Jane Fonda / This Is Where I Leave You
Emily Browning / Pompeii
Nicola Peltz (The Newest Michael Bay “Discovery”) Transformers: Age of Extinction

WATSON COMMENT: Jane Fonda wasn’t bad in a supporting role in This Is Where I Leave You, but her bra sure was.  Hey-oh!  Megan Fox wins this one in a waltz.  Not that she was terrible in TMNT, but think of it as a life time achievement award…

To be fair, she isn’t wearing it in this picture…

WORST ACTRESS

Charlize Theron / A Million Ways to Die in the West
Elizabeth Banks / Walk of Shame
Jennifer Aniston / Horrible Bosses 2
Cameron Diaz / The Other Woman and Sex Tape
Gabriella Wilde / Endless Love
Nicole Kidman / Before I Go to Sleep
Melissa McCarthy / Tammy
Drew Barrymore / Blended
Gaia Weiss / The Legend of Hercules
Lea Michele (Voice Only) Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return

WATSON COMMENT: Melissa McCarthy gets this for Tammy if we grade on the curve.

WORST ACTOR

Seth MacFarlane / A Million Ways to Die in the West
Johnny Depp / Transcendence
Adam Sandler / Blended
Seth Rogen / The Interview
Kellan Lutz / The Legend of Hercules
Marlon Wayans / A Haunted House 2
Arnold Schwarzenegger / Sabotage
Aaron Eckhart / I, Frankenstein
Alex Pettyfer / Endless Love
Kirk Cameron /Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas
James Franco / The Interview
Nicolas Cage / Left Behind

WATSON COMMENT: Kirk Cameron.  Always Kirk Cameron.  

Watson is a guy who saw 145 movies and is still not the target demographic of this film…