ICYMI: Making the the Horoscope Pages Scary (or “Watson’s Dating Life, Which Was Already Scary, Gets Even Scarier!”)

From the terrifying mind of Damon Hellanbrand, a man so scary he has Hell in his name, comes a macabre look at the signs of the zodiac!  Why, oh why, Damon?  Did you have to create these awful (but an brilliant) works of horror? Click More IF YOU DARE!

I am a single man.  Over on the Match.com, they list people’s sign in their profiles because some crazy people think that matters.  Next time I see that a potential booty call companion says she is an Aquarius, I will now be haunted with this visual.

“I guess my pictures ARE a few years old…”

 

 

Ok.  Ok.  This would be an improvement on most of my dates.  I guess I should embrace it.

Hello, Ladies.  I am 39 years old.  I have a good job.  A full head of hair.  And I am an Aries.

Want to take a ride in my van?

Check out the full gallery at Earthporn.