Everything Is NOT Awesome: Stepping On Legos

 

steponlegos

 

Legos are awesome.  The Lego Movie is awesome.  They come in all types of cool kits (Star Wars, Simpsons, etc.) and you can do just about anything with them.  Even recreate the movie Jurassic Park.  But one thing that is not awesome is stepping on one.

And there is a scientific reason for that.

No, it is not because they are forged in hell and harder than brimstone. One of the main reasons is that the sole of your foot is very high in nerve endings to help keep you upright those 45 minutes of the day you are not in front of a screen. As such, your feet are very sensitive to pain.

It also takes about 950lbs of weight to break one of those little bricks. And since there are not many one tonne people walking around, those Legos are not giving any quarter when stepped on and surviving to ruin someone else’s day.

Adding to Lego’s dark side is that the majority of them are rectangles with sharp, unforgiving edges. So when you step on one, particularly a corner, on your way over to the couch to watch The Walking Dead, gravity plus your body weight, plus the weight of your phone and tablet you are carrying, plus the weight of your can of Coke Zero, plus the weight of your bag of Doritos all gets driven into that one tiny point in your overly sensitive jerks of feet. (Which also explains why kids can glide over these things like sheets of ice, since they weight, I dunno, what do baby’s weight? 5lbs?)

So yes, Legos are awesome.  You can recreate the Battle of Hoth. But they are still little plastic pieces of torturous hell that hide in carpet and around corners, waiting…waiting for that bare foot…and their chance to strike you down.

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