Jimmy Attempts To Read All Of Convergence: Week Three Part One

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I’ve come to the realization (not surprisingly) that I may be taking Convergence too seriously.  Trying to make sure it makes sense and ties into the history of the DC universe and multiverse…and it just doesn’t.  There are just too many continuity problems here that if I continue down the rabbit hole, I’ll never enjoy the 60+ (Dear God) remaining issues.  So I will make comments on such things, but if DC isn’t going to put in the effort to at least attempt to have things make sense, then I’m not going to bother either.

Be sure to catch up on all the Convergence happenings with coverage of:

Week One: Part One, Part Two

Week Two: Part One, Part Two

Read on for Week Three spoilers after the break for Convergence #3, Batman And The Outsiders #1, Adventures Of Superman #1, Superboy And The Legion Of Super-Heroes #1 and Wonder Woman #1.

Convergence #3

A better issue than last week, but still has it’s share of strangeness that I’ll get to in a bit.  The focus is still on the heroes of Earth 2 and I’ve read online that this has ticked off a few people as they feel like Convergence is not the huge Crisis level event that it was advertised to be, and is just the continuing adventures of Earth 2.  I get that.

Picking up where last issue left off, the Earth 2 refugees are helping up a battered Deimos.  They are immediately attacked by Telos’ drones.  And this is where it gets a bit weird and I wonder how drunk the folks at DC were putting this together.  After Superman is caught in some kind of energy net, flip to the next page and there’s a giant shot of a flying vehicle that seems Batman related.  The rest of the page has our heroes fighting the drones…but Superman is now free, with no explanation.  And all the dialog seems to be a Telos voice over which has nothing to do with what is going on.  We’ll come back to this…

Cut to Telos at the city of Kandor.  (Which we know from the weird voice over last page.)  They are refusing to fight and Telos is like “C’mon!”

Back to the Earth 2 hero battle…and Superman is in the net again.  What the?  The drones are carrying him away…when two missiles come out of nowhere and destroy them.  Freeing Superman.  Turn the page and…same splash page as before with the flying Bat contraption and the continued fight against the drones.  At least this time the dialog is appropriate.

Batman and Dick Grayson emerge from the now non-operational “Batmobile”.  Bats informs the rest of the crew that no reinforcements are coming because every city is busy attacking or being attacked.

Back to Kandor and Telos has had just about enough.  The people refuse to fight against another city and eventually attack Telos.  He wipes them all out in about five seconds, which is kinda scary since they were essentially a city of Kryptonian super people.  (And also makes you wonder why he can’t just wipe out the Earth 2 folks just as easy?)

Deimos informs the Earth 2 heroes that in the center of the planet is the means to defeating Telos.  Green Lantern senses it too so they agree to follow him there.  Batman and Grayson stay behind because Bats has run out of his super drug Miraclo and he knows that something has followed them from their visit to pre-Flashpoint Gotham last issue.

The rest of the merry crew make their way down a long winding set of stairs (because, why wouldn’t there be a set of stairs to the center of the planet?) until they reach Skartaris.  A large city with castles and volcanos and dinosaurs…and somehow a day producing light source.

As the scene moves to inside the castle we get our first clue that Deimos might not be on the up and up.  A woman named Shakira (not that Shakira) is moving captured “masters of time” like Monarch and Degaton into a holding area at Vanishing Point.  (Somehow this all ties into Booster Gold: Future’s End where Booster revealed the location of Vanishing Point to his captures.  It was assumed to be Brainiac, but maybe it was Deimos…)

Above ground, Batman and Grayson have visitors.  A who’s who of Bat villians including The Riddler, Professor Pyg and Dr. Hurt have followed the Batmobile thinking it was “their” Batman.  They’re disappointed that it is not, but will kill him all the same.  Without his Miraclo and with Grayson dragged off by Man-Bat, the fight doesn’t last long.  Zsasz plunges a knife in his side.  As Batman struggles they all move in for the kill.  Just as he planned.  Detonating a boom he kills the lot of them, except, of course, for Grayson.

It’s no surprise that Earth 2 Batman has died.  DC has been promoting for months that post Convergence there would be a new Batman appearing in the pages of Earth 2: Society.  I’ll give you one guess who that’s going to be.  Or is it…

As Grayson makes his way over to the body of Batman, another criminal joins the fray and shoots Grayson.  It is revealed to be the Joker and in a tribute to The Killing Joke, Grayson screams that he can’t feel his legs.  As the Joker is about to finish the job, Telos arrives and snaps the Joker’s neck.  He exclaims that the Joker is a “Vile creature.  A plague in every timeline.”  As Grayson waits for the killing blow to instead come from Telos, he’s informed that Telos needs him.  Because Telos has no idea where the rest of the Earth 2 heroes are.

Convergence Batman And The Outsiders #1

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Pre-Crisis Gotham City is the main focus this week.  This issue starts a year under the dome.  Batman and James Gordon chat on a rooftop and reflect on the past year and worry about what is to come.  (And since I’m not going to take Convergence too seriously anymore, I won’t complain about Gordon having red hair and mustache when the Gordon of the pre-Crisis (and post-Crisis for that matter) timeline had gone grey.)

The rest of the issue mostly moves around from one Outsider member to another, showing their lives now.  Two of the more notable members are Halo who, cut off from the energy being that sustains her human host, has fallen into a coma.  And Rex Mason who, thanks to the dampening power of the dome, has returned to his human form instead of being the “toxic freak” Metamorpho.  He is happy and in love and capable of human contact.

In time, the dome falls and powers begin to return.  Heartbreakingly, Rex begins to mutate and as Halo regains her powers she causes a huge explosion in her hospital room.

The team won’t have long to deal with the fallout from those things as they are immediately attacked by Jack Kirby’s OMAC.

Convergence Adventures Of Superman #1

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This was the issue that pushed me over the edge to say I can’t take this too seriously anymore.  The story is clearly pre-Crisis as it co-stars the Supergirl of that era who would die in Crisis #7.  (For more on the convoluted history of Supergirl be sure to read Tom Kelly’s excellent Outright Screwy History Of The Maid Of Might.)  I’ve been operating under the assumption that Brainiac has been capturing these cities just as their timelines were being destroyed by events such as Crisis.  But since this story is before that, either I’m wrong (hey, it could happen), DC isn’t really playing by it’s own rules or the end of Convergence will return all these cities to their correct places and times.

In this issue we find a depowered Superman and Supergirl who were conveniently in Gotham when the dome appeared a year ago.  During that time they have been working with Lucius Fox on creating a machine to open a portal to the Phantom Zone.  With the hopes that once in the Phantom Zone, they could return somewhere outside the dome.

They are successful.  But just as Superman and Supergirl transport, the machine breaks and then the dome drops and Gotham is under attack by the sentient apes of the time of Kamandi, The Last Boy on Earth.

Meanwhile, Superman and Supergirl scour the Phantom Zone looking for an exit.  As they search, we see they are being followed and up ahead the skies turn red.  (Which should be familiar to old DC buffs.)  Finally they are attacked by the inmates of the Phantom Zone, many of whom were sent their by the parents of our super cousins.

As the battle continues, Supergirl stumbles upon an area that is emitting a strange gas cloud.  In the cloud she begins to see visions of her past…and future.  She sees the battle against the Anti-Monitor in Crisis, and her own death.  Suddenly she knows that she is “going back to Earth to die”.  Supergirl spends several pages of inner monolouge deciding what she should do.  In the end, saving people and in this case saving Superman, is more important than saving herself from her destiny.

The issue ends on a downbeat for the House of El as they are losing the battle in the Phantom Zone and outnumbered.  Things also don’t look good as the apes swarm the streets of Gothams with the mantra that “All humans must die!”

Convergence Superboy And The Legion Of Super-Heroes #1

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Another issue that will have you scratching your head if you try to figure out how it all fits into the timeline of the DCU.  Good thing I’m not going to attempt that anymore, because it would surely be confusing how a time traveling Superboy could be trapped on Telos yet still have returned to Earth and grown up and is getting his ass kicked over in Adventures of Superman.  (As an aside, we also won’t find it odd that Adventures of Superman features a pre-Crisis story, but the Adventures branding didn’t begin until after Crisis.)

Back to Superboy and the Legion, even though they are powerless they have continued to police the 30th century.  (Except for Wildfire, who was a being of pure energy and disappeared when the dome when up.)  While he puts up a good front to the public, in private, Superboy is still a boy and misses Ma and Pa Kent and cries about missing his dog.

One strange angle to this title is that the Legion has their own Brainiac.  He has no idea what is going on with the dome, but is getting closer to some answers.  He begins communicating through a device with what appears to be the planet itself.  He realizes they are no longer on Earth, perhaps not even in the known multiverse.  The team tries to come to grips with that and Superboy tries to get lucky with Lightening Lass.

As usual, the dome drops at the most inopportune time for young love and powers begin returning.  The team assembles to talk more about the message that Brainiac 5 has received from the planet.  “We are here, but soon we will be there.”  He doesn’t know what it means, but does mention that he finds “the planet’s speech patterns…even the way it things.  It’s disturbingly familiar.  But I can’t place it…”  Hmmm, I wonder why?

The Legion plan an espionage mission to discover who their opponent will be that Telos has talked about in his message.  But it is all for not as the city is invaded by armored knights riding large dalmatians.

Convergence Wonder Woman #1

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One of the more interesting of the two part mini-series, I would recommend this one to fans of Wonder Woman (Jenny) that have never read a Wonder Woman comic (Jenny).

The premise is familiar.  Under the dome in pre-Crisis Gotham City, Diana Prince attempts to continue to make a difference.  She has lost her powers, but helps with outreach programs in the slums.

On this faithful day she accompanies a terminal elderly woman to church.  She wants to hear them talk of the angels that will come and rescue them from the dome.  While Diana and her friend Etta are skeptical, they bring the woman to hear the sermon, at the end of which she keels over dead.  As the dome is dropping, Diana has a few unkind words for the members of the church.  They take offense and knock her unconscious.  While Etta escapes, they drag Diana into the catacombs below the church, string her up with her lasso (because, of course she was carrying her entire costume with her in her handbag) and leave her to die.

While Etta tracks down Steve Trevor for help, Diana regains consciousness and her powers and breaks free.  She changes into her familiar Wonder Woman garb and heads to the surface to “mete out Amazon justice.”

As Diana’s captures reach the surface they are greeted at the gates by what they think are the angels they have been preaching about and invite them in.  Shortly after as Steve Trevor and Etta arrive, we discover the visitors are far from angels and are in fact vampiric versions of the Joker, Poison Ivy and Catwoman from the Red Rain universe.  (If you haven’t already, do yourself a favor and be sure to read the Red Rain books by Doug Moench and Kelly Jones.)  The Joker flys off with Etta to feed on her and leaves Steve Trevor to his companions.  Their attempt to eat him is short lived as Wonder Woman saves the day.

Wonder Woman then heads out after the Joker, who she finds has already feasted on Etta.  And in the background she can hear that she has made a terrible mistake.  The bodies of the clergy that were left for dead have reanimated as vampires and attack the love of her life.

Another half week down.  Will hopefully have the completion of this week posted before week 4 which somehow deals with Crisis On Infinite Earths itself.  I will not take this too seriously…I will not take this too seriously…

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11 thoughts on “Jimmy Attempts To Read All Of Convergence: Week Three Part One”

  1. Armored knights riding on giant dalmatians are the Atomic Knights, one of the screwier things from DC’s past back when stories assumed there would be survivors of a nuclear war. They had armor that protected them from radiation and a couple large dogs to ride…and that was about it.

    Now, if their friend Hercules is there, then they can probably give the Legion a good fight.

    Like

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