I would like to begin my article about the world’s biggest hole with a satirical comparison to fellow GGer Jenny, but I’ve been warned that such a jeer would be poorly received in the “punch to the face” variety. Thus we will take a different tact in our coverage.
So back in the 70s, when people still did interesting things because they were interesting, the Soviet Union started drilling a hole in the Earth to see what it was like down there. Per some smart nerds:
(W)e know more about certain distant galaxies than we do about what lies miles beneath our very own feet. For that reason, Soviet scientists in the 1970s decided to probe deeper than humanity has ever done before. For the next 24 years, they drilled on and off into the Earth’s crust.
The result was the Kola Superdeep Borehole and a drill-depth of more than 7.5 miles (12 kilometers). To put that in perspective, Kola descends further than the deepest point of the ocean, which lies at nearly 6.8 miles (11 kilometers). The borehole is located on the Kola Peninsula of Russia.
The experiment yielded fascinating data about the age of single cell life and how water can spring from hydrogen and oxygen stored in tightly pressed rock formations. It was science at its best. The project stopped in 1994 when it got too hot at those depths (another discovery) to feasibly continue. It simply grew too dangerous for the miners and at least one world leader of the 90s.
Look. I do not trust the Soviets. They were digging for something other than the most beautiful scientific reasons possible: because it was there.
Here are some theories from Gabbing Geek non-science experts on what COULD be at the bottom of this hole.
1. The Devil: Prince of Darkness. Father of All Lies. Shoutout at a Black Sabbath Concert. Only Possible Reason Donald Trump is Still Famous. What a coup that would be for the Kruschev to Putin lineage?!?
2. The Land of the Lost. The fact that they stopped before the Will Ferrell movie is important here, people. The Soviets were many things, but no one is that evil.
3. The Crab People. Russia is known for its homophobia and any South Park watcher will tell you that the Crab People are inexorably linked to the dawn of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy!
Check out the rest of the article and the really cool video on the subject at the link below.