Jimmy Attempts To Read All Of Convergence: Week Seven Part Two

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Obligatory Aquaman money shot for Watson.

(Editor’s Note: Let’s all be kind to Jimmy and pretend it is the week of May 20th.  He really does try very hard to get his work done on time.  But for someone with commitment issues (ask Ms. Impossible) he can’t seem to say “No” to any project that comes his way.  So remember, it’s May 20th, Convergence is not over, and Jimmy is awesome.  Thanks from Gabbing Geek.)

Hey everybody!  A couple of clunkers in this batch of issues as we finish up the penultimate week of Convergence.  I’m looking forward to next week when the finale gets released.  I’m sure it will all start making sense at that point.  I’m sure nothing crazy and continuity shattering will occur and everything in the New 52 will be just as we left it two months ago.

Be sure to catch up on all the Convergence happenings with coverage of:

Week One: Part One, Part Two
Week Two: Part One, Part Two
Week Three:Part One, Part Two
Week Four:Part One, Part Two
Week Five: Part One, Part Two
Week Six: Part One, Part Two
Week Seven: Part One

Read on for Week Seven spoilers after the break for Convergence Justice League America #2Convergence Green Lantern Corps #2, Convergence New Teen Titans #2, Convergence Superboy And The Legion Of Super-Heroes #2 and Convergence The Flash #2.

Convergence Justice League America #2

As much as the 80(!) Convergence tie-ins have had little to do with the actual series, they’ve mostly been entertaining in their own right.  This is one of the few that is not.

With Aquaman, Zatanna and Martian Manhunter trapped in some kind of spatial field, it is up to Ralph Dibny and the remainder of the the called Justice League Detroit to defeat the Tangent Universe Secret Six.

The fight scenes are framed throughout either by Sue Dibny or a very, very annoying Viki Vale.  I realize they were being used as a device to get information to the reader, but it was too inbred into the story.  What I mean is, it wasn’t just an unknown narrator, but Vale who just found out about the Secret Six minutes before but can play by play every fight, knowing all their names and their powers.

The fight amounts to the JLA getting their collective asses kicked and running away.  Then they lay low in one of Mr. Freeze’s old hideouts, and it is never explained why or how they even knew it was there.

Meanwhile, the police of all people have discovered that they might be able to free the captured JLA heavy hitters if they can “freeze” the stasis field.  I see where this is going.  And it is so heavy handed it is ridiculous.  But how will they ever find the equipment they need?  No worries, Sue Dibny just happens to know the location of the secret Mr. Freeze hideout as well.

While the Secret Six (it took them no time to find the League) and the Justice League battle anew, Sue Dibny and the police just kinda stroll in, grab the cryogenic canisters they need and walk on out again.

Moments later as the Six are about to finish the League off, Zatanna, Aquaman and Martian Manhunter arrive and defeat the Six in about five seconds.  (Man that Sue Dibny can boogie to get back across town to free them.)

As Vale and the news crew arrive they give Ralph and his team all the credit for the defeat and dump praise on them for being so courageous.  Watson’s boy Aquaman snubbed again.

Convergence Green Lantern Corps #2

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Much like the Justice League America issue, this one is way off the mark.  Unless you are a huge Guy Gardner fan you’re probably better off avoiding it.

So much insane stuff happens as Guy Gardner heads across Telos on his motorcycle to rescue Hal Jordan and John Stewart in the land of Durvale.  What insane stuff?  How about powerless Guy Gardner defeating a fire breathing dragon with just one swing of a wooden baseball bat?  Or Guy arm wrestling Hercules…and winning to claim his armor.  Yes, this Greek God is so weak he loses to a mortal man…yet can pick Guy up in the next scene and toss him what seems like a mile from the wastelands into Durvale.

In the end Guy helps John and Hal survive the earthquake, becomes a Green Lantern and the trio once again save the day.

Convergence New Teen Titans #2

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Picking up from last issue, Pre-Crisis Nightwing and Tangent Firehawk continue there conversations regarding a truce and team-up against Telos.  Unfortunately, Firehawk didn’t let the rest of her Doom Patrol teammates in on her plan and they attack the rest of the Titans.  They are still looking to use the components in Cyborg’s armor to send themselves back home.

When Starfire hesitates to kill Doomsday, she is defeated and the Doom Patrol get away with the weakened Cyborg.  Starfire blames it all on herself and her thoughts that she should have killed continues to drive a stake between her and husband Nightwing who arrives when it is too late.

After a lot of Titan talking and bonding, Gar finally picks up a signal to tell him where the Doom Patrol is holding Cyborg.  The team is successful in retrieving their comrade and Starfire again chooses not to kill Doomsday.  Though now she finally sees it as having “won” and not as a weakness.  Cue Nightwing/Starfire make-out session.

Just as the teams decide to work together the earthquake hits.  In some titles this “earthquake” is almost meaningless.  In others, like Green Lantern Corps or Wonder Woman, they play a key role in events, usually as teammates/allies are separated by chasms or trapped under rubble.  In this case, while no one is trapped or hurt the quake itself is quite dramatic, lasting several panels.  When the smoke clears, the Doom Patrol are gone and the Titans aren’t sure if they are back on Earth or not.  They are all confused by the one star in the sky (a plot device not used anywhere else), but wherever they are they know they will figure it out and live happily ever after.  Awwwww.

Convergence Superboy And The Legion Of Super-Heroes #2

convergence-superboy-and-the-legion-of-superheroes-2

The Atomic Knights have arrived in Pre-Crisis 30th Century Metropolis with an ultimatum for the Legion of Super-Heroes: surrender or have their city destroyed.  Let’s just say that Superboy and the Legionaries don’t take kindly to being threatened.

After a brief battle Superboy talks the leader of the Atomic Knights into standing down and working together.  It helps Superboy’s case that the rest of the Knights are on his side.  They are dedicated to rebuilding civilization, not destroying it.

Meanwhile, an Atomic Knight scientist has detected the same signal coming from the planet as Brainiac 5 last issue.  Surprisingly they work together to discover the source.  The source is a representation of the planet…actually two representations.  Brainiac explains that the planet is about to transition from one spatial continuum to another.  Which we’ve know for some time from the main series.  But what is interesting here is that the earthquake hits and really for the first time I think we get confirmation that this is what is causing the quakes.  Hey, a meaningful tie-in!  Huzzah!

The Knights and the Legion work together to keep people safe from falling debris caused by the quake.  The Knights pack up and head back to Durvale to take care of their people.  Superboy and the Legion agree to join them, but not before one last make out session between Superboy and Lightening Lass.  Oh la la.

Convergence The Flash #2

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It’s Barry Allen vs the Tangent Superman…eventually.  The two stand around talking about Star Trek and trying to figure out why a being of Telos’ power would stoop so low as to have all their fates decided  in a form of “gladiatorial contests”?

And then…more talking.  Tangent Superman has no desire to fight, and assures Barry if they did fight, the Flash would have no chance.  This ruffles Barry’s feathers a bit.

Barry is angry enough to…continue talking about how they are not the only two champions that have been pitted against each other.  Finally, Barry grows suspicious that Tangent Superman might actually be Telos, or simply some guy in a robe who is not all powerful but just talking a good game.

Finally Barry does go on the offensive and attacks.  Tangent Superman mostly stays on the defensive, protecting himself until he has had enough and stops Barry with a physic assault.  And when he does he sees flashes (pun intended) of the future.  He shows Barry images of the Anti-Monitor and Barry’s death in Crisis.  He even brings up Hypertime and says that Barry must live as he is the only one that can stop an “Antimatter Weapon”.

So in order for Barry to live on and save everybody in Crisis, Tangent Superman surrenders, so the Flash wins and pre-Crisis Gotham survives.  And with that Tangent Superman is teleported away, the earthquake hits, and Barry goes back to living a normal life…for now.

 

Just one week left to go and with this coming out right on time I should have no issue finishing up before the DC You starts in June.

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