Podcast Reaction: The Ryan Edition

Ryan likes this movie.

I’ve been doing podcast reactions for a while now, even before I got tapped to write for this site.  In that time, I have picked on Jenny and Watson quite a bit.  Why not?  Jenny is three ducks in a woman suit who doesn’t know who Max von Sydow is despite his memorable roles in both The Exorcist and Flash Gordon–leading to my theory that someone is finally continuing Flash Gordon‘s “To be continued” tag when Ming the Merciless is revealed to be the bad guy in Star Wars Episode VII.  Watson just has that one picture that makes it rather easy.  Heck, it doesn’t matter what other pictures I use, that picture will be the one that appears on Facebook for any article I write and use it for.

But aside from pointing out just how much Ryan likes the awful, awful Krull, I don’t pick on him that much.

I’m not going to pick on him now, because this post is an intervention.

Ryan, I suspect, hates too much.

Seriously.

Look at the stuff Ryan adores:

• Krull
• Ready Player One
• Battlestar Gallactica
• Watchmen
• Mad Max:  Fury Road

Now, some folks would point out that these are some high quality things to enjoy, plus Krull.  Yes, he also waxes incredibly enthusiastically over the Red Sun Rising books, but are we seeing a pattern here?

It’s my old foe nostalgia coming back for more!

This coming from a guy who’s rewatching cartoons for this site.

Let’s look at stuff we know he doesn’t like:

• Jurassic World
• Lost

Now, why do we know he doesn’t like these things?  Because he is very insistent that he doesn’t like these things.

Actually, he hates these things.

I’m actually concerned about Ryan.  I haven’t seen Jurassic World yet and skipped that part of the podcast, but I did read over his savage take-down, and I recall the one he wrote for Avengers:  Age of Ultron.  The level of detail for his distaste is…disturbing.

Ultimately, Ryan’s problem with Jurassic World is it’s a typical sequel.  Take what worked in the first movie and then amplify it to the extreme!  Corporate sponsorship mocked?  Done subtly in the first one.  Sense of wonder gone amid the chaos?  That happens a good 75% of the time when a big budget movie has a bigger budgeted sequel.  The same basic story?  Of course it is.

I will say this on the subject of the park itself…just from the ads, it reminds me of SeaWorld.  And even if I hadn’t seen Blackfish, I probably wouldn’t be going to SeaWorld again.  I have no issue with zoos, aquariums, or amusement parks.  When you try to combine all three into one place, that’s when I have a problem.  That’s basically all this Jurassic Park looks like…a really expensive SeaWorld.

So, I am left to wonder…did Ryan go in with expectations that were too high?  I’ve known the disappointment of that, recently with Age of Ultron, or also with the Matrix sequels or  Phantom Menace.  I can’t personally get too worked up over Jurassic Park.  The original is a fun movie, but even without seeing the new one, I know with Steven Spielberg’s name on it somewhere that Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, and those kids are probably going to live.

Here’s my main concern…Ryan is turning into a stereotypical geek.  The kind who nitpicks too much and hates vocally.  Ryan, man, you need to relax a bit.  It’s just a dumb movie with dinosaurs eating people.  That blood pressure is going to cause the top of your head to pop off, possibly like that exploding head guy in Scanners.

Or, maybe, he just doesn’t want to spend his hard-earned money on subpar entertainment…or what he considers subpar entertainment while in a bit of a minority.

Actually, I can get behind that.

Never mind, Ryan.  Carry on.  We need more contrariness in the world.

Here’s that pic again.