What Would Happen If The Looney Toons Had A Fight–To The DEATH!


Not that long ago, Watson posted what would happen if the Justice League had a fight to the death.

Then I did my own half-assed one that mostly accomplished making Bianca Horkan mad at me.

But really, that’s some penny ante stuff.  What if a much more dangerous group got the same treatment?

No, not the Avengers.

What happens if the Looney Toons have a fight to the death?

For reasons unknown, because I don’t feel like making up any, while attending the Sarasota Carrot Festival, Bugs Bunny and a group of his friends…er, co-workers…uh, associates…other cartoon characters find themselves transported to a large arena that obeys few if any of the laws of physics.  Each has with him or her a single item to be used as a weapon.

Oh, who transported them?  I dunno.  Let’s say it was Yoyo Dodo.

Apparently, his first name was "Yoyo".  Who knew?
Apparently, his first name was “Yoyo”. Who knew?

So, our combatants…

  • Bugs Bunny:  armed with a carrot and his wits
  • Daffy Duck:  armed with an endless supply of signs that read “rabbit season”
  • Porky Pig:  armed with a stutter and good intentions
  • Elmer Fudd:  armed with a shotgun
  • Yosemite Sam:  armed with a pair of six shooters
  • Pepe LePew:  armed with his own stink
  • Tweety Bird:  armed with cuteness
  • Sylvester:  armed with a lisp
  • Roadrunner:  armed with his speed
  • Wile E. Coyote:  armed with an ACME catalog
  • Foghorn Leghorn:  armed with a metal pan and a stick
  • Tasmanian Devil:  who the heck is dumb enough to arm this guy with anything?
  • Marvin the Martian:  armed with a PU-38 explosive space modulator
  • Speedy Gonzalez: armed with political incorrectness
  • Granny:  armed with a purse and umbrella

So, knowing that only one of them may get out of this alive, the fight begins.  And it’s a doozy.  Mice and roadrunners are zipping across the surface.  Rabbit tunnels crisscross the field.  Somehow things start exploding.  Porky tries to say, “Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!” to draw the whole thing to a merciful ending, but that sure ain’t happening.

So, who wins?  Dude, nobody.  Have you ever noticed how much physical punishment these guys can withstand without dying?  Or how they can pull seemingly endless objects from thin air?  LOONEY TOONS CAN’T DIE!

I think I just rickrolled everybody.

OK, now I’ve rickrolled everybody.

Sorry, Bianca.


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