Jimmy Attempts To Read All Of Secret Wars XXII

Much like the publishing of Secret Wars itself, my read through has fallen behind schedule.  Nothing of the epic Convergence proportions (yet)…but I still have a lot of catching up to do over the next few weeks.

After the cut I share my thoughts on Secret Wars #5, Loki: Agent of Asgard #15, A-Force #2, A-Force #3, Secret Wars 2099 #3 and Secret Wars 2099 #4.

Related links:
Secret Wars Power Rankings
Tom’s Road To Secret Wars: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7.
Other parts of this series: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Secret Wars #5

For a series called Secret Wars there tends to be a lot more talking than war-ing.  Which can be fine too.  Issue #3 was all talk and fantastic.  This issue rides a similar rail, giving us background on what happened between Doom and the Beyonders, but doesn’t pack the same punch as issue #3.

It’s the memorial service for Dr. Strange.  Memorial service, not funeral as Doom might have annihilated him last issue…not that he is telling anyone.  He is blaming the occupants of the liferafts for that.

The Thors are on hand for a 21 hammer salute and amongst them are New Kid Thor that Strange revealed everything to for some reason, and the 616 Thor, hiding in plain sight.

Doom’s “daughter” Valeria is suspicious about the events surrounding Strange’s death, but Doom says to trust him and just do what he says.  He tasks her with finding the missing people from the liferafts and to bring them before him for judgement.  (Which we pretty much knew already if you’ve been reading Star-Lord and Kitty Pryde.)

Remember that statue of the Molecule Man in Doom’s garden?  Well guess what is below it…only the Molecule Man himself.  Alive and well.  And apparently hungry, though he “devoured everything”.  Doom informs Molecule Man that Strange is dead.

Much of what comes next is a recap of Doom, Strange and Molecule Man’s story leading up to their battle with the Beyonders.  With the added twist now that we know Doom used an army of “Molecule Men” to destroy the Beyonders and Molecule Man himself as a conduit for stealing the Beyonders powers and creating Battleworld.  (I think.  The whole thing is a little confusing.)

The issue closes with Valeria and the rest of The Department of Science preparing to head after the 616 and 1610 rebels.  We see glimpses of some of them in hiding.  The aforementioned Thor in Doomgard.  Namor in Egyptia.  Captain Marvel captured by Mr. Sinister in the Bar Sinister domain.  Black Swan close by in Doomstadt.  And a very happy looking Thanos staring up at The Shield.  (P.S. read Siege.)

Loki: Agent of Asgard #15

Only for people already reading Loki.  Has nothing to do with Secret Wars.  Next…

A-Force #2

In the ocean off the island of Arcadia the Sub-Mariners have discovered a portal to different parts of Battleworld.  Glimpses of other domains can be seen within the portal which include scenes from: Giant Size Little AvX, Future Imperfect, 1602 Witch Hunter Angela, Ghost Racers, E Is For Extinction and Inferno.  But shortly after finding it, the portal collapses upon itself and disappears.

A-Force has another problem.  Who is this sparkly girl that fell from the sky last issue and where did she come from.  As they try to get answers they begin to scare her and a new portal opens in the sky bringing a Sentinel through.  The team manages to defeat it and we get glimpses of this young girls powers as she teleports various bystanders and A-Force members out of harms way.

While some, particularily Medusa, are suspicious of the girl and believe her to be the cause of the portals, She-Hulk disagrees.  In search of answers she goes through the portal that brought the Sentinel and is transported to the domain where Years Of Future Past takes place.

A-Force #3

Fresh off her voyage through the portal last issue, She-Hulk battles a trio of Sentinels in the Sentinel Territories domain.  In going through the portal and essentially crossing the borders of Battleworld, She-Hulk has broken Doom’s law.  And you know what happens when you do that…Thors.  Three of them show up to add to the chaos.

After a short battle She-Hulk escapes back through the portal.  We are treated to more images from other books in the series including: Thors, M.O.D.O.K. Assassin, Weirdworld, Ultimate End, Planet Hulk, Old Man Logan and the main Secret Wars series.  She-Hulk also realizes somehow that “This magic.  This is from Acadia.”  They have a traitor in their midst.

She-Hulk returns to Arcadia, but she doesn’t come alone as the Thors follow.  Medusa keeps the Thors busy so the others can escape and then tosses the Thors back through the portal.  As the portal closes on them, the Thors have one last trick up their sleeves, sending lightening to strike down Medusa and killing her.

The actions of She-Hulk and Medusa have brought the Thors down upon them in great numbers.  While Storm slows their search by blanketing the island in fog the team escapes…into their mysterious star filled young visitor from the sky.

Secret Wars 2099 #3

The Avengers and The Defenders put aside their differences long enough to apprehend Martin Hargood, who is wanted in connection with an attempt on Captain America’s life.

Civilities don’t last long as Hercules is lovestruck by Valkyrie and his advances are none to appreciated by her boyfriend The Sub-Mariner.  The two brawl like little kids and Silver Surfer uses his powers to stop them and turns into their mom complete with forcing them to apologize to each other.

The two teams agree to return to Alchemax where Miguel Stone takes a turn torturing Hargood for information.  The only real intel they get out of him this go round is that he is a descendant of old school Dr. Strange adversary Baron Mordo.  He also incoherently mumbles something about a “Dweller” being the one that sent him.  Strange 2099 says “There are several who go by that name.  And you wouldn’t want to meet any of them.”

With comradery between the teams reaching an all-time high as Hercules and Sub-Mariner engage in a drinking contest, Stone informs The Defenders:

Surprisingly, this doesn’t go over well.

Cue another super team brawl.  Iron Man makes quick work of Silver Surfer while Strange and Valkyrie escape.  Stone himself takes down the Hulk by biting him with his fangs that inject a paralytic venom.  The Defenders are declared enemies of the state.

Secret Wars 2099 #4

The scene this cover depicts? Never happens in the book.

Hercules and Sub-Mariner have missed last issues closing festivities as they have been off bonding and drinking themselves on their asses.  When the Alchamex security force arrive to apprehend Sub-Mariner, Hercules has no part of it.

Captain America is having trouble with the decision by Alchamex to make The Defenders enemies of the state as well.  She gave The Defenders her word that they could leave and Alchamex is making a liar out of her.  This has affected her so strongly she is even breaking through her programming and reverting back to being Cap after she has been dismissed.

Meanwhile, down in the Minority Report room, the precog Vision is having a breakdown.  Predicting that everything is falling apart and the Avengers will be no more.

Upstairs, Captain America and Hercules continue to rebel, making quick work of Hawkeye and Black Widow.  Along with Sub-Mariner they make their way to the detention area and free Silver Surfer and Hulk.  One last obstacle remains.  And as has been in vogue and overused since the original Civil War event, it’s Cap versus Iron Man.

The others escape while Cap and Iron Man continue their slugfest.  The fight comes to a halt when Cap’s husband shows up and spouts some “override phrases” at her to try to get her back under the control of her mental programming.  Before they can see if it has had any affect, Strange returns via a magic portal and rescues Cap.

On the other side of the portal all is well…until we see the safe words did work and Cap has reverted back to her Roberta persona and has no idea what is going on.