Geek Review: Fantastic Four (2015)

A four is not a vowel.

So, I finally saw the new Fantastic Four.

Look, no one logging in here today is looking for a Fantastic Four movie review.  You want Star Wars.  But I’m prepping for an unexpected but totally expected journey.  I couldn’t go today.  Instead, I went for this…whatever it was…on pay per view.

Thoughts and some SPOILERS after the cut.

The movie started promisingly.  Then the promise went away.  I don’t mind a slow start to something like this.  Think how long it took Christopher Reeve to suit up in the first Superman movie.  There’s no reason the hero has to have his or her powers and suit inside the first half hour.

But this movie had some real pacing problems.  Character motivations seemed lost.  Characters just bounced around and…well, it’s hard to explain really.  Why did Ben forgive Reed so quickly?  And why exactly couldn’t Sue go with the boys to the mystery zone?  And why was the top secret military base located near a major highway?

I mean, I could see where characters were coming from, but Doom wanted to destroy the world?  Wouldn’t he rather, I dunno, rule it?  And Ben got his catchphrase from an abusive older brother?  That’s…disturbing.

I think the movie would have done better with maybe another half hour to flesh out the sketchy ideas that were present.  At least Michael B. Jordon and Kate Mara got more cinematic luck with Creed and The Martian respectfully.

I’m giving this one five out of ten space monkeys.  There was just enough promise in the early going to not make the whole thing a jumbled mess.