Gabbing Geek Box Office Report: You Know What Earned The Most, But Read This Article Anyway

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Look, do I need to draw a map?  Everyone knows what came in #1 last weekend.  The only question is how much did it come in #1 by.  Seriously, was there any chance it wouldn’t?

You know what’s even odder?  All the Gabbing Geeks have seen that movie by now, and no one has written a review for it.  Not even Ryan listing all the things that were wrong about it, which he even does for movies he likes.

Anyway, more results after the cut.

A relatively short time ago in a multiplex nearby…

BOX OFFICE REPORTS

It is a time of great monetary strife.  Striking from its hidden stronghold of the Disney coffers, THE FORCE AWAKENS earned all the money.  Yes, all the money.  Even the coins you lost in the couch cushions.  When totaled, the $238 million had enough fire power to destroy a planet.  Knocked off-guard, a fourth CHIPMUNKS swept an additional $14.4 million, a curious fact given I suspect no one over the age of five will admit to seeing any of those movies.  Totals like that are why more such horrors are produced, strengthening the Dark Side by their continued existence.

Needing to scrape by any victory possible, rival studios were heartened that people still love Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, granting the mercy of $13.4 million for their comedy SISTERS.  And as if the combined girl power was not enough, THE HUNGER GAMES continues to ravage the countryside, justifying spreading the final book over two movies with an additional $5.6 million.

Finally, CREED pulled in a more modest $5 million, ensuring well-wishes for many, as competition grows fiercer with the Christmas holiday.  Knowing the calamity that could befall, the Chancellor of the Republic has secretly dispatched two Jedi accountants to bring about a settlement and restore order to the galaxy…

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One thought on “Gabbing Geek Box Office Report: You Know What Earned The Most, But Read This Article Anyway”

  1. Nicely done again Tom. I’m a bit surprised myself that no one has posted a review. I think we are all too busy celebrating the fact that it doesn’t suck. 🙂

    Like

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