Gabbing Geek Box Office Report: Star Wars. Nothing But Star Wars.

It’s that time again.

Time to say what should be said only in the polite company of corporate accountants.

Star Wars wins again.  You know, if there was a prize.  Aside from oodles of money.  Oodles and oodles of money.  More wealth than Jimmy can possibly imagine, and he can imagine quite a bit.

Can he imagine $88.3 million dollars?  Only if those dollars are Canadian.  Translate that to American money and it becomes a number that hasn’t been invented in Canada yet.

Do you want to know what came next?  Because it doesn’t really matter.  It wasn’t Star Wars.  Only Star Wars matters.  All hail mighty Star Wars.

Why should anything that is not Star Wars matter at all?  It made all the money.  Mints around the world are forging new money just to give it to Star Wars.  As it should be for now and all time.

Star Wars was created by George Lucas after he mishmashed Westerns, old movie serials, and Japanese samurai movies together into one film, and from there the story spread like wildfire across all the lands.  Even fictional lands like Oz.  Did you know the Cowardly Lion is into Star Wars cosplay?  Did I just make that up?  What do you think?

Yes, for people who think nothing is more of an accomplishment than selling more tickets than any other movie are tossing back the champagne as Star Wars breaks record after record.  Unless you adjust Gone with the Wind for inflation, and only super numbers nerds do that.

Star Wars is the only thing worth talking about in the world of box office totals.  That is how it should be.

Unless, of course, you were a fan of Daddy’s Home (second place with $29 million), The Hateful Eight (third place with $16.2 million), Sisters (fourth place with $12.58 million), or, ugh, another Chipmunks movie (fifth place with way more money than it deserves).

But those movies aren’t Star Wars.

All hail Star Wars!