Gabbing Geek Box Office Report: Dead In The Pool

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As we continue to search high and low (mostly low) for Watson, another week demands another Box Office Report.  For some reason.

Our continued search for Watson led us to yet another distant cousin.  This one was the wisest Watson we could find, Sir Kylo of Wats.

Sir Kylo of Wats, seen here judging someone else's supernatural capabilities.
Sir Kylo of Wats, seen here judging someone else’s supernatural capabilities.

We asked him after he’d dunked some woman into a river about the box office report, since someone had to.

Oh, hello.  I understand you have some concerns with the weekend box office report.  That can be quite the undertaking.  As I am between trips to Crusade in the Holy Land, I am more than happy to…

What?  Well, yes, I do cosplay in the Renaissance Fair, but it is not truly cosplay if I dress like this anyway.  I am a true Knight of the Cross.

Do you know who is not a true Knight of the Cross?  That Deadpool fellow. No matter how much money he brought in with his unholy shenanigans…

Oh, wait, he brought in $55 million dollars?  Well, maybe he’s just a saracen then.

Second place came to a more noble warrior on his third outing.  A panda gifted in the martial arts.  I can sympathize.  No one takes me seriously until it is too late as well…for my opponents.  Heh heh heh.

$12.5 million there.  That could purchase a number of Flemish mercenaries to my cause, let me tell you.

And because it is never too early to celebrate the Risen Lord, third place went to The Risen.  Yes, though sure to be counted as potential Easter classic, this movie is a veritable whodunit about the resurrection of the Christ.  It earned $11.8 million.

And then in fourth place, earning $8.7 million is…The Witch!

THE WITCH!  BURN HER!  BURN HER AT THE STAKE!

He ran off after that.

Oh, if you care, fifth place with $8.2 million was How To Be Single.

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