Simpsons Did It!: “The War Of The Simpsons”

the-simpsons

Look, you can either go to a marriage retreat and expect your husband to behave himself, or you can go to a marriage retreat near a good fishing spot and expect him to show up.  You can’t do both.

Oh Homer.

You went and did it again.

Marge just wanted to throw a party without you being a jackass.  Could she do that?  Apparently not.

As anyone with half a brain would expect, Homer did not behave himself at an evening party Marge throws for all their adult friends.  Sure, it’s easy to tell Marge’s friends from Homer’s, because Marge doesn’t invite people like Barney, a connoisseur of fine mace sprays everywhere.

But Homer got good and drunk off drinks prepared by notorious lout Ned Flanders…wait, that isn’t right.  Since when was Flanders good with alcohol?  Oh, wait, we haven’t seen Flanders descend to the more Christian stereotype he’ll be in the future.  Never mind.

Homer’s behavior is inexcusable.  Yeah, Bart lost no respect for him since Bart doesn’t have much respect for Homer to begin with, but it was still inexcusable.  And Homer’s memory of the night…man, that’s what Homer thinks he really looks like to people, not the drunken oaf staring down Maude Flanders’ dress.

So, its off the Reverend Lovejoy’s marriage retreat, where Marge has a laundry list of complaints and Homer wants to impress the weirdos at the bait shop.

For truly there is a monster of a catfish in that lake, General Sherman.  The stuff of legends, that Homer vows to catch.  And he does…sort of accidentally.  Let’s be fair, Homer only had a fishing pole in his hand when some kid left his behind and Homer shouted to said kid to get the line before Homer was pulled out to the middle of the lake.  Yeah, Homer could have just given up and gone back to the shore, but why bother if he was already out there.

Homer does succeed in bringing in General Sherman, but Marge is so mad at him that he tosses it back without a second thought.  Marriage is fixed, and the catfish winks at us.  Can a catfish really do that?

Meanwhile, back at the Simpson place, Lisa and Bart are taking complete advantage of babysitter Grandpa Simpson.  But Grandpa isn’t helpless.  He manages to get the kids to clean up after a particularly messy party by pretending to cry.  I think I know where Bart gets it from now.

Oh, hey, Nelson almost gave off his iconic “Ha ha!”

But man, that marriage retreat really works.  Even the Queen of the Harpies had her marriage fixed inside of five minutes.

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