CONFIRMED: Random Baby Cast As Young Han Solo

With a cute puppy as Chewy.

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that a fairly random baby has been cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“It’s young Han Solo,” president of Lucasfilm Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release, “And it would be hard to get much younger than this guy.  This is the true origin story that fans didn’t know they were demanding for years.  Han’s potty training alone will be an emotional roller coaster that no one will ever forget.”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: Jar Jar Binks Cast As Young Han Solo

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that Jar Jar Binks will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“Meesa trolling,” president of Disney’s Lucasfilms division Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release.  “Meesa trolling so hard.”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: A Hyphen Cast As Young Han Solo

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that a hyphen will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“Jimmy’s back,” president of Disney’s Lucasfilms division Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release.  “And he’s still upset that people thought we cast Spiderman for the role so now we’re just cutting right to the chase and casting the most important part of Spidey: his hyphen.”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: Spider-Man Cast As Young Han Solo

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that Spider-Man will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

When reached for comment, Spider-Man had this to say: “Hey, can you leave me out of this?  You guys did this same schtick last year with my casting.  I’m trying to re-establish my rep here.  And so far, so good.  Look at me up there with that shield.  I look Marvelous.  Absolutely Marvelous!  So go on about your business.”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: Channing Tatum Cast As Young Han Solo

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that Channing Tatum will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“Apparently that Jimmy Impossible isn’t the only hacker,” president of Disney’s Lucasfilms division Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release.  “Because now I’ve got some Jenny character controlling my password until I cast Channing.  CAN I JUST GET BACK TO CANDY CRUSH?!?!”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: Power Girl Cosplayer Cast As Young Han Solo

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that a random Power Girl cosplayer will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“Of course this doesn’t make sense,” president of Disney’s Lucasfilms division Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release.  “But our servers were hacked by a…Jimmy Impossible?  And he won’t turn over my password until I cast this woman.  So she’s cast, Jimmy.  Can I get back to Candy Crush now?”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: Idris Elba Cast As Young Han Solo

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that Idris Elba will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“Sony still won’t cast Idris as James Bond?” president of Disney’s Lucasfilms division Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release.  “WELL I JUST MADE HIM HAN SOLO!  BOOM!!”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: Miles Teller Cast As Young Han Solo

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that Miles Teller will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“Miles told me that without his presence this movie would suck,” president of Disney’s Lucasfilms division Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release.  “Truth be told, it may suck anyway.  But I just can’t resist that pinchable face.”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: Morgan Freeman Cast As Young Han Solo

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that Morgan Freeman will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“Sure he’s not exactly young,” president of Disney’s Lucasfilms division Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release.  “But have you heard his voice?  How can you not want to see this?”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.

CONFIRMED: Shia LaBeouf Cast As Young Han Solo

Shia was thrilled with the news.

Gabbing Geek sources have just confirmed that Shia LaBeouf will be cast as young Han Solo in the upcoming standalone Star Wars film.

“We’re thrilled about this partnership,” president of Disney’s Lucasfilms division Kathleen Kennedy announced in a press release.  “Shia has already made some…interesting changes to the script.  This is going to be great.  Great, I say.  Yeah.”

Stay tuned to GabbingGeek.com as additional details are revealed.