33 Star Wars Characters Who Are Definitely Not Rey’s Parents

Everyone who has seen Episode VII has a theory on who are Rey’s parents.  These theories range from the intriguing to the totally insane.  Rather than try to contribute to the growing collection of suspects, I thought it would be better to take the opposite approach.  Rather then take wild guesses as to who her parents might be, let’s try and eliminate some potential suspects from the list.  And so now I present to you the 33 Star Wars characters that are definitely not Rey’s parents.  Jump after the break to know who we can finally let off the hook.

Your Somber Star Wars Fact Of The Day

“I find your use of Comic Sans…most disturbing.”

Look, today is all about Star Wars no matter what else is out there.  But let’s pause to consider one sad fact.

There were 1,179,293 people staffing the original Death Star.

The Galactic Standard Calendar used in Star Wars has 368 days.

Meaning, assuming a standard distribution, 3,204 people died in or around the Death Star on their birthday.

Happy new Star Wars Day everybody!

Star Wars Rewatch: Star Wars (A New Hope)

And now we get to the original Star Wars.

It’s about damn time.

20 Thoughts On Marvel’s 1977 Star Wars Comic Book

Forget asking if Luke will destroy the universe (was that ever an option?)–I want to know why Darth Vader has a green helmet!

Rumor has it there’s a new Star Wars movie coming out in a month and while geeks everywhere struggle to not lose their minds counting down the days we’re also trying to find ways to distract ourselves.  Over at the Comixology podcast, Matt and Kara are holding a Star Wars comic book club and the first session focuses on the original Marvel comic book of Star Wars.  Launched in 1977 just a few months after the movie came out, the first six issues retold the original film and then went into some strange, we-didn’t-know-anything-about-Empire-Strikes-Back territory.

The first comic book club only covered these original six issues and I thought it was easier to present my thoughts visually and here on Gabbing Geek as well.  It was strange to read these issues–not only because it recreates a movie we’ve all seen so many times, but also because it retells that movie through the strange conventions of 1970s comics.  And the things it has to translate onto the page (like Artoo’s whistles or Chewbacca’s howls) definitely presented some issues to the creative team.  So jump after the break to see 20 thoughts I had upon reading this comic book.

This Death Star Fire Pit Is Enough To Make Me Want To Go Outside

Outside is the place where allergies thrive and I try to avoid it as much as possible.  But if I had one of these custom Death Star fire pits I would probably give some serious consideration to spending some time watching flames dance inside the hollowed remnants of the Empire’s greatest weapon.  Jump after the break to see the fire pit in all of its nighttime, fully flamed glory.  And if you have a cool $1,000 and want one for yourself, jump over to the KGFirePits store on Etsy for one of your own (or one of several Disney and other themed fire pits).

This Death Star Poster Will Make Your Mind Go Alderaan

Do you know how many Bothans died to bring you this graphic? None. Because Bothans aren’t real.

Carlos Pardo, a graphic designer in Paris, has created the most detailed blueprint/poster of the Death Star you’ve ever seen.  He’s launched a Kickstarter campaign to help him finish the task and it’s already far exceeded its goals.  In fact, all the posters are currently sold out.  If you want one of these giant detailed posters for yourself you’ll have to keep an eye on the campaign to see if he adds more prints, or you can still order a set of 9 postcards that can be put together to form the entire image and remind you that there’s a bigger, cooler version out there that you don’t have.

How Much Power Do You Need To Power Star Wars Items?

 

Have you ever wondered how much power – true power – it would take to run all the Star Wars blasters, lightsabers, ships, and launch pads that run rampant in the galaxy? Click after the break to see just how much energy is needed to power your home away from home. Warning…. batteries not included:

The Death Star Architect Speaks Out

May the f*cks not be given. That’s right – we said it. The Death Star design has gotten a bad wrap. It’s practically a technological and architectural masterpiece, except for one tiny design flaw. But that being said, the architects behind it deserve A LOT of respect. Maybe you’ve read Dorkly’s transcript of Dak Exhaustport’s defense of his design. But if you’re not into reading, and let’s be honest – ain’t nobody got time for that, then you can finally hear his words straight from his pixelated mouth. Check it out the video after the break:

Star Wars Propaganda Posters

So many fan offerings from the Star Wars universe are as good as anything the studios can produce.  These posters, in the style of WW2 era War Department propaganda posters are fantastic.  More after the jump!

Geek Gear Is Here! Star Wars Aromatherapy Ornaments Keep Stubborn Wookiee Smells At Bay

ERRRRRRMMMMAAAGAAWWWD! I need these – yes, I need these now. Mainly because I have a Wookiee at home that definitely can ripen up a room If-You-Know-What-I-Mean!? These awesome oil defusers are made of ceramic and designed by Kotobukiya. Each one comes with a 5ml bottle of lavender oil, but you can also use your own scents. Designs include the Death Star, the Millennium Falcon, and R2-D2. See more smelly-awesome-goodness and where to purchase them after the break: