Trailer Time: Warcraft, Second Trailer

AttheMovies_t670

Here’s what Tom had to say about the last Warcraft trailer when it dropped last month:

So, a new trailer for the Warcraft movie dropped.  Trailers generally don’t say much, but I think this one set a new record for not saying anything.  What is this movie about?  I have no idea.

The latest trailer just came out and, well, Tom already said most of what needs to be said.  Except for one thing: what’s up with the text “An unthinkable threat”?  These are Orcs!  You live in the world of Warcraft and you don’t think Orcs are a threat?  WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING ALL YOUR LIFE?  They’re Orcs.  They’re…well…they’re your orcs.  They’re like your El Guapo, everybody has one but yours happens to be actual Orcs.

This movie is going to be so bad.  Check out the latest train-wreck of quick cuts comprising a trailer after the break.

Continue reading Trailer Time: Warcraft, Second Trailer

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Late Reviews: The Hobbit Battle Of The Five Armies

hobbit
Not pictured: a single, solitary hobbit.

I have mentioned in the past that my wife is not a geek.  There is one noteworthy exception to her non-geekiness, which is some fantasy stuff like Harry Potter and the works of Tolkien.

That’s why it is so surprising to me that we didn’t get around to seeing the last of The Hobbit movies until this past Saturday.  Or maybe it isn’t.  Spoilers after the cut.

Continue reading Late Reviews: The Hobbit Battle Of The Five Armies

The Secret Origins Of Cannon Fodder

"So, do any of these guys have names?"
“So, do any of these guys have names?”

G.I. Joe was the sort of 80s animated series that didn’t necessarily excel in answering questions, but here’s one that maybe should have been answered:  where exactly did Cobra find all its soldiers?  Knowing may have been half the battle, but maybe you could cut the battle by another half if you could dry up Cobra’s recruitment.  Instead, there’s a ton of generally faceless guys who seem to line up in order for the Joes, a military unit with the loosest uniform standards in the entire American Defense Department (thanks for that joke, Robot Chicken), to punch out by the dozen.  Its a good thing the Joes couldn’t shoot any straighter than Cobra could, because that would have been rather messy.

Seriously, where do groups like Cobra find recruits?  Who lines up to join them?  I suppose the same question could be applied to modern world terrorist organizations, but unlike them, Cobra had a whole island that everyone knew about.  I am sure a more pro-active group like Seal Team 6 would have stormed that place and taken out the top leadership in about a minute and a half (again, thanks for the joke, Robot Chicken).  Cobra had cheap equipment, and most missions had the Joes rounding up the foot soldiers by the hundreds to, I dunno, go to prison somewhere.  And its not as if Cobra is alone here.

Continue reading The Secret Origins Of Cannon Fodder