Why The Oscars Suck: Best Picture Nominations

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This may have something to do with today’s column. Or it doesn’t. Only you can decide.

Dear Oscars,

You suck for so many reasons it’s hard to pick just one. You are a self-congratulatory, over-hyped, out-of-touch celebration of how you don’t understand your audience. You pile heaps of affection onto movies that most of your audience didn’t see and couldn’t care about. You are bland, boring, predictable, boring, elitist, and boring. But I’ve been told I can only focus on a single area of your suckitude so I picked why you suck on your biggest award: Best Picture. Continue reading Why The Oscars Suck: Best Picture Nominations

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