So, I finally saw Jurassic World. Hey, I wasn’t exactly a huge fan of the original. Why should I rush out to see the new one?
I mean, what is it people love about Jurassic Park? Interesting and compelling characters? Nope. Accurate science? Not really. Logical plots? Nah. Likable children? Oh hell to the no. What is it? Oh yeah. Dinosaurs run around and eat a few people, generally adults.
OK, so, how about I say what I thought. SPOILERS for last summer’s biggest box office hit after the cut.
I’ve been doing podcast reactions for a while now, even before I got tapped to write for this site. In that time, I have picked on Jenny and Watson quite a bit. Why not? Jenny is three ducks in a woman suit who doesn’t know who Max von Sydow is despite his memorable roles in both The Exorcist and Flash Gordon–leading to my theory that someone is finally continuing Flash Gordon‘s “To be continued” tag when Ming the Merciless is revealed to be the bad guy in Star Wars Episode VII. Watson just has that one picture that makes it rather easy. Heck, it doesn’t matter what other pictures I use, that picture will be the one that appears on Facebook for any article I write and use it for.
But aside from pointing out just how much Ryan likes the awful, awful Krull, I don’t pick on him that much.
I’m not going to pick on him now, because this post is an intervention.