Chris Pratt’s Pre-Emptive Apology

Pre-apologize…that works, right?

As if we needed another reason to like Chris Pratt, he recently took to Facebook to pre-emptively apologize for whatever stupid thing he said on his Jurassic World press tour.  The tour has been underway for over a week now and so far either the apology has worked or Star-Lord has been sticking to the talking points because no scandal yet.  But if you want to read his awesome pre-apology, check it out after the break.  Sadly, it doesn’t apologize for the movie itself which is almost sure to suck be the same story as every other Jurassic Park movie.

I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming ‪#‎JurassicWorld‬ press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I’m the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s).

I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act for which I am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have had) said that (will have had) crossed the line. Those rooms can get stuffy and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know you can’t say that anymore. In fact in my opinion it was never right to say the thing I definitely don’t want to but probably will have said. To those I (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry I already am. I am fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a blunder (possibly to be) dubbed “JurassicGate” is (most likely) in no way a laughing matter. To those I (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn’t happen (again).